Knowing Without Knowing
If I ever had another child, I was going to name her Jane. She would be named after the Barenaked Ladies song, after my mother Janet, and after a dear friend of my mother’s named Jane. Somehow I can picture how my little Jane would look at six years old, her eyes smiling up at me, her dark hair tossed by the wind. I could feel her personality, the strength of her will, and the challenges she would need to face in her life.
But as real as she seems when I imagine her and as clearly as I can see and feel her in my mind and heart, Jane does not exist. I am not sad about this, because I have everything I want, need, and planned. So it seems strange that I should see and know her so clearly.
I feel this same way when I talk to my yoga classes about obstacles I’ve faced or epiphanies I’ve had. There’s something in my heart I can see so clearly, a feeling I want to hand them…but I never get to see the result. Did they understand? Did I sound absurd? Did they just want me to shut up? Nonetheless, I know I must speak what my heart is called to tell them.
Throughout my life, I‘ve often thought about these moments of knowing while not knowing. I’ve come to see them as part of our dharma: one’s duty we are called to fulfill here on earth. Like flashes of insight, these moments of knowing what we cannot know are roadsigns that point the way toward what we are meant to do to fulfill our purpose. I am not meant to know Jane for real: I’m meant to understand what it is like not to know her. That feeling—that longing for what does not exist—is part of what I need to understand in order to fulfill what I am meant to do. Likewise, it is my dharma to share with my students without ever knowing the result. I am not meant to know fully what happens to what I give away.
What is your own knowing without knowing? What is your dharma, my friend?
Mon. 6:30pm: Music Monday (Hot Yoga, Força)
Wed. 6:30pm: Vinyasa (Hot Yoga, Força)
Thurs. 6:30pm: Inside Flow (Hot Yoga, Força)
Fri. 2:00pm: Meditation (online)
Sat. 9:00am: Vinyasa (Hot Yoga, Força)
Sun. 4:00pm: Open Studio / Yoga Play (Força)
I will be traveling over the next few weeks, so there will be wonderful subs for my classes on Thursday March 24 and March 31, on Saturday March 26 and April 2, and on Sunday April 3. Come out and experience their wisdom!